What's that all about?
Iím sitting now alone in the dark.
Some candles light the room.
Itís quiet, no ones talking, no music is playing.
My thoughts are running through my mind.
No order, just how they want.
My feelings are confused.
So many things happened in the past years.
Good and bad things.
Unfortunately the bad things prevail.
Not Ďcause they happened most.
Itís more, that they hurt me much more.
And less of the good things can heal these scars.
Some scars will never heal, physical and mental.
Whatís wrong with me?
I canít really believe it and Iím scared.
It happened again; again I left a special person.
In some way Iím happy, but in other way Iím not.
These thoughts, I wish I could cut off these.
There is no reason for them, but somehow they stuck.
Thoughts about, how others would be happier without me.
Some, in which Iím seduced to take a knife and slit my wrist.
Others, where I live all alone in the dark.
But I know Iím not alone and actual Iím happy.
Even if my feelings canít hide their insecurity.
So whatís that all about?